Welcome to Coco's Rainbow Residency

Memories of Coco

The knowledge of the fact that one's companions' life would be dramatically shorter than one's own weighed heavily on both Brenda and I from the moment that Coco entered our lives, but the pressures built more so over the course of the past year during Coco's health-related issues. The potential for the need to make a decision was one that I feared the most --- a mountain of questions ran through my head - would I recognize the need; what would be the appropriate time; would I have the courage to act on the recognition; would I be brave enough to be with him as he 'passed'? All these thoughts were trumped by the time, memories and experiences that Brenda, Coco and I created together as a family unit over the past almost 11 years together.....the memories, both good and bad, form what is the essence of a relationship and define each of us, as living, sentient beings and each of our experiences to some extent. I hope that the 'bad' memories never, truly fade, but will remain, so that we have a point of reference for all the good times, and make them all the more treasured and special as time passes..... There has not been one iota of regret at bringing him into our lives after the decision was made for him to make us a little family of three those many years ago. Some of the things that immediately spring to mind and that I recall about Coco is his bravery, spirit, and determination --- he fought, because he had to, over the course of the past year in dealing with his MUE (suspected GME), and was able to stay ahead of the disease. In the last episode, I noticed that fighting spirit in him again coming to the fore, and, had we asked it of him, he would likely have fought his way through this battle as well.....the decision that we took out of our love for him and with his best interests at heart, was as a means of thanking him for fighting so hard to stay with us. His continued fighting, I feel, was so that, likely, his Mommy and Daddy would not have to feel the pain and suffering that would result from his passing --- sounds a little silly, but it is truly my sense that he loved us that much (and we, hope, in turn, that we demonstrated and reciprocated that love to him as well throughout his time with us). In terms of everyday little things, what comes to mind is --- his playfulness, his excitement and happiness to see us (tail wagging back and forth, shifting about in eager anticipation for the first contact each time) as we came into the home, and desire to engage us in play as soon as we walked in through the door, running to get his ball (or Black Kong); his 'little man' stance - which he knew was an attention getter, his constant search and the battles with him for socks, his Mommy's leather glove(s), tissue/paper towels dropped on the ground -- they served as both chew toys for him, as well as bartering chips for treats to be traded with him, so that he would relinquish his hold on it. We knew he was using the item as a bartering chip when, rather than chewing on it (or when he tired of chewing on the item), he would come to find one of us, with his head bowed, item in mouth, and tail wagging, to inform us that he had something he knew from past experiences that we would trade him for a treat. On that last point, his intelligence was something that surprised me, in terms of his ability to form connections (find item - show to Mommy/Daddy - barter (hold onto it for a while to make it not so easy) - then finally relinquish for a treat); ability to learn tricks very quickly (his paw, other paw, side, other side, over, roll over, off, beg (little man stance), were all learned within a single session. I am not ashamed to say that I shed enough tears to end a drought in the Sudan and there is a void in my heart the size of Eurasia. But, I am rambling (and please excuse this, as I am using your time as a means of healing and for some cathartic purposes) -- Brenda and I were fortunate enough to have had him share a part of our lives for these past 10 years and 327 days, Brenda and I will carry the memory of our little Coco for the rest of our lives, loving him and continuing to do all the things that we used to do with him while he was physically with us, but, now, doing it with him in spirit. We are also secure in the knowledge that our decision was made with his best interests in mind, to save him from the inevitable other complications and pain that were to arise as a result of both his underlying illness and the many different medications that he was on to hold it at bay..... We loved and cherished every second with you, little Coco, and will continue to do so until we are finally together as a family unit again in the distant future...

Coco's People Parent(s), Edward/Brenda, would appreciate knowing you have visited their Baby's Residency. Click here to Email Edward/Brenda a message, or to send a sympathy card click here. Email this page to a friend. Give a gift renewal of Coco's residency.

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