Welcome to Handsome's Rainbow Residency

Memories of Handsome

My world fell apart on Oct 31, 2006 Well Handsome, it's been 6 days, and I thought I could do this, but the tears are pouring down my face so hard I can barely see to type this. As you know, you were my first Dane, rescued from Friends for Animals shelter here in Asheville on July 29, 1999. You were 109 lbs and said to be about 1 1/2-2 yrs old. And boy were you a handful. You had no manners and didn't know much, but it didn't take us long to get to know each other. I took you home with a death grip on your leash, not knowing how you'd take to my cats, but you walked in the door, looked at them with no concern, went straight to the bedroom, climbed on the bed, and made yourself right at home. It didn't take me long to learn that you didn't like being bossed around. I assumed you had been abused or pushed around before I got you, because you were so big and unruley. If I raised my voice at you for doing something you shouldn't, like pulling something off the dresser, or the pillows off the bed, you'd yell right back at me, but your voice was a lot louder than mine. And you were afraid of thunderstorms and loud noises. For such a big guy, who would've thought you could be such a baby? You'd just climb up in my lap and curl up as though trying to hide from the thunder. Everyone was so scared of you and thought you would eat me one day. Even mom, when she came to the house one morning to drop something off. She knocked on the door, and could hear my alarm going off inside, but I didn't answer the door. I forgot she was coming and had got up early before the alarm went off, forgetting to shut it off, and had walked across the driveway to the neighbors house. When I didn't answer the door, she called, and when I didn't answer the phone, she thought for sure you had eaten me. Well, not literally, but she did think you had got ahold of me and I couldn't get to the door. So she called Lane (my sister's husband)at work, who came rushing home and flying up thru the yard in his truck honking the horn. Just about the time he pulled up, I walked out of the neighbors house to see him pulling up, and mom standing in the yard crying, cause she thought you'd "GOT ME". I know she didn't think it was funny at the time, but I can still laugh about it today. Cause despite your loud mouth, and occasional grouchy attitude, "I" knew you would never hurt me. Even my old boss Rosie, who raises Danes, she says to this day, you were the only Dane that she was ever scared of. I just never could see what anyone was scared of. Guess I just knew you better than the rest. Life was so good, and we enjoyed our days. Then one day you started to cough. I thought you'd get over it soon, but when you didn't, we went to see the doc. He said you had congestive heart failure. My life just fell apart. They put you on lots of heart meds and diuretics to reduce the fluids, and I thought that would make you better. But then he told me he didn't expect you to live more than a few weeks. My whole world came crashing to the ground. I couldn't loose you, not so soon. But what do vets know anyway? 5,6,8 10 weeks later, you were still hanging in there and doing good. Then, on a routine blood check, to make sure the meds weren't hurting your kidneys and liver, we discovered you were now diabetic. But hey, I could deal with that too. We'd just check your glucose several times a day, and give you some insulin, and adjust your diet. We did all that, and it was going well. Then, you started getting weak in your back legs and couldn't climb the stairs to the deck, so, Leon built you a ramp. If there was ever anything anyone has ever done for me in my life, that meant the most to me of anything I can remember. He took a whole day and built that ramp for you so you could come and go in and out the doggie door into your yard when ever you wanted, without the pain of struggling to get up the steps. That was all great. Then, another day.......you were starting to look like you were retaining fluids again and seemed to be having difficulty breathing. We went back to the vet on Friday. The news was not good. He said your heart was getting weaker, and the meds just weren't keeping the fluids out. You were retaining fluids in your lungs, abdomen, and chest again. We went back on Monday, stayed all day, as I sat on the floor of the vet in your kennel with you and shared Dairy Queen ice cream. They gave you shots of Lasix throughout the day and we went home that evening. Tuesday morning, we went back to do some more x-rays and ultra sounds (which you were so wonderful about, just lying there still, letting us take all those pictures, and getting pushed around the office on the guerney). But the news was not good. Though the Lasix had worked some, you still had a lot of fluids and it was likely only to get worse. Through all my tears, I told the vet just to let me take you home, to spend one more nite with you, and we'd come back to put you to rest on Wednesday. But, when we got home, you were like a new dog. I kept you on the Lasix, and you seemed to bounce back. But it was just very temporary. I went to work Friday morning, came home a few hours later to check on you, and you were fine. Came back a few hours later again, and then..........it was bad. You were in the same spot as before and hadn't moved. You seemed to have lost control of your back legs and couldn't get up to go out to potty anymore. But I could help you. I put a towel under you and helped you in and out to potty. I had already called the vet, and had them on stand by for the weekend in case we had an emergency, I wasn't going to let you suffer. That was the most important thing to me, that you did not suffer. I said to them and myself, if you would just make it thru the weekend, I could spend a little more time with you, and I'd let you go on Monday, if you didn't do it yourself (which you didn't). So Monday came, and I called the vet. I scheduled for them to come out Monday afternoon. I layed on the floor next to you all day, waiting on them to call to say they were on their way. But at 4:00, when I woke up and they hadn't called, I called them and got their machine. I left a message to ask where they were. They called me back about 5:00 and told me "they got busy and forgot". WOW !!! did that ever just blow me away. But you were resting comfortably, so I took that to mean I'd just get to spend one more nite with you, holding and loving you, and we'd see the vet on Tuesday. (They were going to come to the house since I couldn't get you in the back seat of the truck, it was just too painful on you to try to pick you up). Well, not long after I spoke to them, you started going down hill, and fast. You got so quiet, you wouldn't even lift your head to follow me around the room anymore. But you still followed me with your eyes. It was a really bad night, and everything I never wanted to happen was happening. You were in pain, and you were suffering. We made it thru the night, and once again, I called the vet Tuesday morning. Only to be told they were too busy, and didn't know if they could make it out today. Well, to avoid saying anything I shouldn't, I had to just hang up. I was in total AWWWHH. I couldn't believe it. But, thanks to Dr. Ted Wright, of Appalachian Equine, (my horse vet), you were not going to suffer. I called him and caught him as he was leaving the office for his daily farms calls. He dropped everything and came straight over. He was so gentle and compassionate, explaining everything to me, how it would be. I didn't watch, but I layed in front of you on the floor, holding your face in mine, with my other hand on your chest. Your breaths got slower and I felt with my hand on your chest, your last breath. You were gone to the Rainbow Bridge to wait for me. Baby, God how I love you and miss you so much. There will be another Dane one day, but never another like you, and never one that will take your place in my heart. My heart aches for you everyday, but I have found some peace in knowing that you are no longer in any pain, and you can run and play forever in a day with no worries of heart problems or Diabetes. Say HI and give doggie kisses to Daisy, Brandy, BJ and kitty kisses to Shadow. I look forward to the day when we meet again. I love you and miss you so much. Nov 7th, 2006---Well big guy, it's been a week. The tears are still pouring down my face. I am at peace because I know you aren't in any pain, but it still hurts. Well, I know you won't be mad at me for this, cause you know how I am about rescuing you kids so I'll go ahead and tell you, but you probably already know anyway. I got another Dane from a Dane resuce. She's a she, and nothing like you at all. She came from a bad situation, and needs someone to love her, so here I am. I'm going to try to make it work, but I'm not sure yet how she's going to get along with all your brothers and sisters you left behind with me. I think she is going to be a little jealous of my sharing my attention with them, and not giving it all to her, so we'll just have to take it slow with the introductions and see. She's a big girl, about the same age as you when I adopted you. She's 23 months old, and all puppy. She's a fawnequin (white with fawn spots), so she doesn't look anything like you. I found one on another resuce site that looked SOOOOO much like you in the face, but I knew I couldn't do that, it would make me too sad. When I want to see your beautiful face again, I just look at your pictures. They bring back such good memories. Oh yeah, by the way, her name is Sadie Mae. But if she gets along with everyone else, and I'm able to keep her, I will probably change her name, maybe to Emmy. Though she is a fawnequin, she wanted to be a harlequin, as she has black spots on her face, and around her "blue" eyes, the black looks run, as though she's been crying and her makeup ran. And that reminds me of Emmett Kelly, the sad clown. But I don't know, she already knows her name of Sadie, so I may just leave it alone. Well, I hope you're ok with me adopting another Dane. Just know, that no matter how many other Danes I may have in my lifetime, and there'll probably be quite a few, no Dane will ever replace you, my first Dane. After having had your love for so many years, I'll always have a Dane. You guys/gals, are just such an awesome breed all your own. I love you big guy and miss you. I'll write again soon. Love, Mommy Nov 11, 2006---Hey big guy, how's it going up there? I've been thinking about you alot today, just starring at your pictures and missing you so much. I know my life will go on, but I sure wish it didn't have to be without you. I hope you knew how important you were to me, and how you were such a huge part of my life. Heck, you were my life. You and all your brothers and sisters. And though they are still here, it just isn't the same. And though I have Sadie now, she isn't you for sure. She is great in her own ways, and I am getting attached to her as time goes on, but she'll never never be you, no one will. Well big guy, I could ramble on all nite about how much I miss and think about you, but I know you're busy running and playing and chasing everyone with those long legs of yours now that you can use them again without any pain. So I'll let you go back to playing. But just keep your eyes open, cause one day, I'm going to come for you, and we'll all cross the Rainbow Bridge together. I so look forward to that day big guy. I'll see you then, and until then, we'll continue to talk this way. I love you, Mommy Thursday Nov 23, 2006 THAKSGIVING DAY!!! Hey there big guy. Boy, this just isn't getting any easier. It is Thanksgiving day, and you're not here for me to share all the leftover turkey and goodies with. I know you remember every year I'd bring home leftovers from moms and make you and all your brothers and sister a plate too. But I know your getting your belly full up there at the bridge while you're waiting on me. I guess Sadie will get your plate this year. I know you won't mind since your doing so well up there. Speaking of Sadie. WOW have I got my hands full. She is quite the wild child. So full of energy. And has what you never had. Separarion anxiety. I had her a really nice bed made for her crate, since I have to crate her for now while I'm gone during the day, and I came home Tuesday from work, and she had shredded it. I was so mad. I just thought about you, and how great you were, and how you never got in to trouble like that. Not even when I first got you, and you were still young then, about what Sadie is now. I know you kids are all different, and that's a good thing, but boy do I ever have my hands full with her. But that's ok, I'll adjust. We'll adjust, and we'll do just fine. We just need some more time and we'll be fine. Well big guy, I love and miss you so much. I'm going to get started on making acollage to hang on the wall of all of your pictures I took over the years. I probably won't get it done right away, you know how I procrastinate about things, but I am going to do it. Well, it's bed time, so I'm gonna head that way. I'll talk to you again soon. I love you big guy. Hugs and kisses from mommy. I know you are happy wehre you are at, but I want you back so badly, this still hurts so much. G'nite big guy, sleep tight. Thursday Dec 7, 2006 Well big guy, we're getting our first snow of the season right now. It's not going to amount to much, maybe only an inch or so, but it sure is pretty. I found some old pictures of you a few weeks ago playing in the snow. I sure wish you were here right now, so we could go out and play in the snow. I'd bundle you all up and we'd have a blast. But I know, you're up there where the weather is beautiful all the time, the temperature is just right, not too hot or too cold, and I'm sure you're enjoying every minute of it as I sit here in front of this computer still crying. Yeah, I know, you don't want me to cry, but God I miss you so much. Sadie is doing very well, getting along with everyone, or most of them anyway, really well, and I do love her, but she isn't you. Christmas is coming soon, and I always bought you one of those huge, gigantic bones, that you had gone in almost no time, but you're not here to get it this year. I'm sure I'll get Sadie one, but I'd rather be buying it for you. I know, I've got to get over this, but it just isn't getting any easier. It's been a month and 2 days, but it seems like you've been gone forever, cause I miss you so badly. Well, take care. And by the way, a guy sent me a card after he visited your residency a few days ago, and he has a Great Dane named Gunda. She is 11 yrs old, yeah, that's really good, but anyway, she isn't doing really well, and he thinks she might be coming to join you some time in the near future, so I told him I would ask you to watch for her, and greet her with open legs and give her the grand tour. You'll know her when you see her. She is absolutely beautiful. She's black with a little bit of white and has cropped ears. I know you'll fall in love with her, but just do me a favor, and don't forget your mommy down here once you meet Gunda, and always keep your eyes open for me, cause I AM coming to join you one day. It's not likely to be soon, but one just never knows. Take care my love, and remember how much mommy loves you. Hugs & kisses big guy !!! xoxo And by the way, I changed your pillow to a blankie, since it's getting cold here, I thought maybe you might snuggle up on a warm blanket, like we used to when you slept in the bed with me, and like we did the day you left me. I also added some flowers. I know you were never big on flowers, but these are called bleeding hearts, cause my heart is still bleeding over loosing you. Hope you don't mind. It just kinda makes me feel a little better. Ok, nite big guy. We'll talk again soon. Friday Dec 15, 2006 Hey big guy, is it getting cold up there at the Bridge yet? I know, probably not, cause the weather, just like everything else is always just perfect there. Sure wish I were there with you, but I know that day will come, and I'll just have to wait for it. But I sure do miss you. I don't think you actually ever met my friend Jan's Great Dane, Kitten, but he's going thru a rough time right now, and he needs every ones prayers, including yours. He had to go to the emergency room last nite cause his stomach twisted. He had surgery and is recovering at home right now, but could still use your prayers and the prayers of anyone else reading this. He's a great guy, but it's not quite his time to head to the Bridge, but when his time does come Handsome, I know you will give him the grand tour. And I know Jan will appreciate you looking out for him when he gets there. Anyway, things around here are settling down a little bit. Christmas, as you know, is just 10 days away. It's going to be so very hard this being my first Christmas in so many years without you. But I will make it thru, with tears in my eyes, as there are now, but just know, I'll be thinking of you all day, as I do everyday. Sleep tight big guy and I'll write again real soon. I love you and miss you. Mommy xoxo Friday Dec 29, 2006 Hi big guy, how's it going up there? Hopefully better there than here. I mean to tell you, when it rains it pours here. First of course I lost BJ in September, then you in Oct, and Shadow also. Now your sister Lizzy is really sick, very critical right now. She was diagnosed today with AIHA, yeah, I know, you don't know what that is. It is Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia, and it is very very serious, in her case especially. We've been to see the doc twice already just since last nite, and are headed back in the morning again. I know you are watching over us as our guardian angel, so, keep it up. Loosing you and BJ and Shadow all this year was so hard, I can't bare the loss of another of my kids this year. I still miss you more than you can imagine even though I know you are so happy and healthy now. But say a prayer for your sister Lizzy, she needs all she can get right now. Well, on another note, Christmas came and went, and it just wasn't the same without having you here to give your big goliath bone to. Mom did make me a stocking for you though, and it has your picture on the front. It is still hanging on the entertainment center cause I just can't take it down yet. Well, I'm gonna get to bed so I can get up early to take Lizzy back to see the doc. Take care big guy, and we'll talk again soon. I love and miss you. XXOO Mommy Saturday, Jan 13, 2007 WEll big guy, the new year is here.And as I told you in my last note, Lizzy is sick.But she is doing much better. Her blood levels aren't back up yet,but she is eating and walking and doing much better.I know you have been looking over her,and I appreicate that. Everything else is going ok. All the other kids are doing well.I've installed an underground fence in the front yard.I know you wouldn't have liked it if you were still here,cause you hate those collars that shock you.You were always so sensitive.You would've loved the extra room to run and play, although you were always more of a couch potatoe. Sadie was really my encouragement to put it in.She is not at all like you were.She likes to get out and run and play. But anyway,I just wanted to write you a short note tonite.It's after 1AM and I'm still up on this computer.I'm going to have to keep my notes short from now on,cause I am running out of room to write.I may have to start typing my letters over my older ones.Take care big guy and always remember how much your mommy loves you. XOXOXOXOXO Sleep tight. 7/4/08 Hi there big guy.It's been a long time since I've written,tho I talk to you quite often.Well it's July 4th and everyone is setting off fireworks which made me think about you and how you hated the noise.I just wanted to say goodnite before I turn in. ILuvU Jan6,2009 Wow, how time has passed so quickly. You've been gone for over 2 years and since you left me, Lizzy, Beethoven, and now Bonnie have come to join you and BJ. How sad these last 2+ years have been. I miss all of you so dearly. I'm thinking about getting a Dane puppy this fall, but I just don't know. None will ever be you and I just don't know if I could love another like I loved you. I miss you so very much and cry so often when I think about you. But I got a digital photo frame for Christmas from Kristi so I'm going to put your pictures in it with all the other kids and then I can see you scrolling across the screen every day. I can't wait to get it done. The rest of the kids are all doing well for the most part. I know you already know that since you see all that goes on. Oh how I wish this world would come to and end on its own so I could come join you. Things have been very depressing lately and tho I love all my babies, I'd love to come see you, but I suppose I have to wait till God decides it's time. Hope you've made lots of friend my love and I'll see you again, one day. All my love my baby. Good nite for now. Love Mommmy March 10, 2009 Well Big Guy, Guess you already know all of what's going on since you're up there and can see it all. Jan 21, I was having a really bad day, and took things a bit too far. I had you're picture next to me and I know you were watching over me and helped me to pull out of it. You knew I needed to be here to care for all of your brothers and sisters, so you were my guardian angel that day. I'm here today and still taking care of all these babies. Unfortunately on Jan 23, while I was away, Prego passed away. But of course you know that cause she's there with you now. Take good care of her and help her feel comfortable in her new home till I can be there with you all. It's going on 1AM and I'm going to turn in for the night, but know I'm thinking about you and miss you so very much, still. Just remember, like the music that is playing says, "one day we'll be together", but "until we're together again", I love and miss you. Tears and hugs Big Guy, Mommy August 17, 2009 Months have passed since we last talked. I was thinking about you a lot this past weekend. I went camping with Kristi, and as usual, I took several of the other kids with me as did Kristi. She has a Dane now too, Drake. Him being there is what really made me miss you so much, wishing so much you could've been there with us, though I know you were watching over us, I'd sure have loved if you could've been there. We had a nice weekend, and we're going back again next weekend. Going to try to get as much R&R time as we can before winter gets here. I've been thinking really hard lately, and have pretty much decided there won't be another Dane in my life, not for quite a while anyway. Much as I love you guys, I just need to wait till I have more time and space, all the things I didn't have enough of to give you while you were here, though you were so good and never complained :-) But when the right day comes, I know you'll approve of my giving my love to another deserving Dane. Well, mommy has a lot of work to do on the computer tonite, so nite nite my love, we'll talk again soon. Even though we don't get to talk a lot on this computer, I know you hear me talking to you the rest of the time. Take care till next time Big Guy, and remember mommy loves you....... Tuesday Nov 3,2009---Well big guy, it's been three years and 4 days since you left me and I still think about you like it was yesterday. Unfortunately because you left me on Halloween, it is hard to forget the date,but even if it weren't on a day like Halloween,I could never forget anyway.As you already know of course,Clyde came to see you on Friday evening.I am really becoming leary of Halloween anymore.First you,then Bonnie,then Clyde.And all of you were black/white too.I want to skip Halloween from now on.I guess it is just what some might call a coincidence,but none the less,I don't like it.I really miss you so very much,especially this time of year when your anniversay comes along.But I know you are always up there looking over me and the rest of us and I know you are in the best place you could be.I am just awaiting the day we can meet again to cross the Rainbow Bridge together.What a joyful day that will be.Until then my big boy,remember mommy loves you. May 18, 2010 Wow how time flys. So much has been going on since we last talked. You of course can see it all from up there, so I don't have to tell you about it all. But it's been quite a task. But it's all worth it, I just so wish you could be here to enjoy it with me, and the rest of the kids. But since that is not possible, I am just awaiting the day we meet again. Of course, I have decided to skip Halloween from now on, first I lost you, then two years later Bonnie, then the next year, 2009, I lost Clyde. He did leave me on the 30, so actually the day before Halloween, but that has just not been a good day for me. All of you were black/white, all of you had heart conditions, and all of you at Halloween. No, I'm not supersticious, you know that, but dang. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and have your oil painting on my dresser so I can see you everyday. I miss you so much my big boy, so, until we meet again, I Love You. Mommy Oct 31, 2010 Well, it is so hard to believe that today has been 4 yrs since you left.I still think about you and talk about you often, and I don't expect that will ever change. SOOOO very much has gone on in my life since you left for the Rainbow Bridge. It is heading in to winter, and I'm sure you're glad you are where you are right now, cause right now, I don't have any heat.It's not too cold yet so I'm dealing with it, but it sure would be nice to have you to snuggle with to keep me warm.But I'm glad you are cozy and warm where you are now,I should be getting my heat back up and running this week, hopefully.There still hasn't been another Dane in my life since Sadie.It has crossed my mind, but it would just be so hard cause none will ever be like you and I know I'd always be looking for you in a new Dane.One day, maybe when I have things better settled in my life,I'll think about it again.I'm sure you wouldn't mind me taking in another Dane that needs me.You'll know when that day comes,you'll see me open my home and life to him/her when that time comes.It is a beautiful day outside today, so I am heading outside to work in the yard a bit before winter gets here.I'll be thinking about you all day,especially today, on your anniversary, and everyday, as usual.One day we'll be together again, and until that day just remember how much I love and miss you. Hugs and kisses,I love and miss you baby. Love Mommy Feb 5, 2012 Wow, so much time has passed since I last wrote to you on here. Of course I talk to you often, but I still like to come on here too from time to time to talk to you. I'm in a bad way right now because I just found out today that PK is in kidney failure and she is going to be coming to join you and the others tomorrow. I cannot let her suffer. I ask you to please be watching out for her to get there tomorrow late afternoon and welcome her with open arms, show her around and make sure she is comfortable and has everything she needs. I know she will make lots of new friends quickly cause she is such an absolute angel, but you know how she is, always a little shy at first. I do not want for you to think I don't think about you anymore since I haven't been on here in a while, cause you know I will NEVER forget you. You are always on my mind. I finally got your oil painting hung up in the living room above the couch so now I can look at you EVERY DAY. Hey, guess what, I've got a boyfriend and you would really like him. He is SOOOO very good to me and is just like me when it comes to our love for our 4 legged furbabies. Well big guy, I do hate to go, but I want to spend as much time with PK as I can between now and tomorrow when she leaves me, I know you understand. I love you dearly and miss you so very much. It still seems like you just left me not so long ago. All my love my big boy, until next time we talk. All my love, Mommy Please also visit BJ.

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