Oh Benny, I've missed you so....

and lately you absence has began to grow.
you were suppose to be here,
that I swore,
now that your forever gone,
my heart has tore,

Remember our life, what we went through,
and all the hours I trained you,

you were perfect, my perfect boy,
to this day, i can't fill the void,
As I said, Sky has taken your place,
but really Ben, thats not the case,

I put you through a ton of shit,
and will forever feel bad, that i can admit,
Rocco was mean, and didn't like you,
I had to always separate you,

Maybe boy, I made a mistake,
and should have found Rocco a new place.

Together we lived for 6 long years,
with constant separation, only causing you more fears.

i could have done much more for you,
I'm starting to believe your joys were few.

I had trouble, and went though a lot,
many relationships, with the men, I fought,
and there you were, lying on your bed,
giving me the look,
i came to dread,
saying "Mommy, why do we have to stay"
"Mommy, please not, one more day."
and along we went through this life,
with your shadow beside me, helping me survive,

Ben, I'm having a baby, you're suppose to be here,
through those 11 years, I knew you were near.

Now I've moved on, and things have changes,
but Ben, you spirit will always remain.

although you won't be here with my son,
I know your in heaven, with fields to run...
Sorry boy, I didn't give you my best,
sorry Ben, I laid you to rest.

I tried to make it up in the end.
For that I ask for forgiveness again and again.

Sorry Ben, I kept you so long,.
I kept hoping, each day, you'd again be strong.

And what I did, now feels bad,
but Ben, a part of me still feels glad,
I wanted to know without a doubt......
Prolonging your life, was not what it was about...
I thought I could save you, this I swore,
But I treasured you life, you I adored.

Remember Tufts, that awful day,
remember how i cried, and prayed for you to stay.

Ben, If i could have you back for just one day.
through the field and in the lake we'd play..
I promise I'd give it my very best,
I promise buddy, we wouldn't rest

we'd play constantly, having fun,
we'd enjoy the warmth of the sun,
I'd give you my everything,
my love would not fade,
I promise, Benny, things would finally be OK,

So long for now, my forever friend.
I promise you Ben, my heart will never mend.
Wish were here, can't bring back the past
Wish u were here,and the fun could last!

Love u "Bejamin White Paws of Mudville." until we meet again.
Until then, All my love, I send...